Stuck in the Trough

I feel displaced as if the very meaning and existence of my life has been completely and totally fulfilled. It is not so much a Oh I want to kill myself kind of down; however, it is a feel of questioning. I feel that my purpose is nonessential to the balance of the life I live. It seems that I serve no productive means of accomplishing anything in this life. My dreams and aspirations have all been questioned and challenged by factors outside of my reach. When I turn to look at some hopeful meaning to define me I am merely meet with the images of life like cloud images. The clock ticks, I age, and still nothing comes from the root of my bosom.
R discussed this with me for a long hour and a half. He explained it to me like this. A wave is a very strong force on this earth. Its rising and falling can wear away even the strongest of materials, and provides man with just a glimpse of the eternal strength of our Lord. If you manage to get up on top of the wave you can sit on it and let it carry you in. Your body does not have to put forth any effort and all you have to do is stay on for the ride. It is fun and free. The problem that arises is once that wave crashes down what to do. When the wave falls you have to start peddling as hard and as fast as you can so that you do not get pulled under. If you ride the wave totally in and sink down within the trough then you are going to be stuck under in a tumbling mess. Life will be confusing and guide less, and like a blind child you will grope through the darkness praying for some form of familiarity to cling to.
So now your faced with two questions. Do I let go and drown, or do I start kicking and paddling with all my might until I finally break the surface?
Do I pursue that which I felt I should seek after, or do I allow the complete and total confusion through me into a tailspin of fright. I break it. I push and I'll pull until the last bit of breath is forced out of my lungs. I refuse to give up. Throwing every hand, kicking with every foot I will break through. Faith is where I am aline. Here the cliff lies and here I jump. My faith tells me there will be water at the end to brace my fall. My logic tells me that the bottom is unscence therefore constitutes hazard. My psyche says whats the use all ends the same anyway. My emotions scream for a liberation but are to mad to find it on their own. So I hold my nose and with a running start I leap off into the black abysis. Now I feel the wind hit my fleshy face. The air sucks back my lungs, and a feeling of utter lightness overtakes me. My mind spins but just for a minute as the shots of adrenaline flake through my blood. All over is darkness and a deep fog has griped my eyes. Downward I fall not knowing my resolve, but in faith I jumped and in faith I shall land. I will push through the trough so that one day, maybe soon, maybe far, I will arise on top of the wave and say "I am J M ,and I have conquered this day!!!!"